Lee and I get a lot (A LOT) of judgement around the fact that we're truly unsure about whether or not we will/should have a second child. Our hearts say, "yes," but our brains say, "are you nuts?!?"
For people who have never had a difficult child, the idea of not having a second seems absurd. I would imagine that if Gabby had been easier, this would be a piece of cake decision, and I'd probably already be well into my second pregnancy right now. However, G-baby wasn't easy, and still isn't. She only uses one word with any regularity, "up." She says this one word almost all day long, begging to be picked up and carried around the house. It's like having a newborn, except instead of crying to be held, she's demanding it with words, and crying if she's refused. I don't want to deny my child affection, but it gets pretty grueling carrying around a toddler all day long. This is one of those things that just can't be if we are to have another kid. I can't be Gabby's human chariot if there is a newborn baby to care for, too.
Right now, our official plan is one of "wait and see." I tell people that it's just a matter of timing, and eventually we will have a second child, we're just waiting until it's an appropriate time. The problem is that the appropriate time may never arrive. Right now, I'm home with Gabby, and I love it. I don't drive and I don't have a car. Before entertaining the thought of becoming pregnant again, I need to get my license and a car so I can take myself to appointments, without needing Lee to do it. I also need to start classes to get my teaching certificate, something that seems somewhat pointless given how hard it is to find a teaching job in this area.
It would be great if Lee had a job with more consistent hours then he does now, and more room for growth.
The brunt of the burden really falls in Gabby's shoulder's, though. She needs to:
- be able/willing to walk everywhere
- not expect to be held all the time
- be able to feed herself
- be able to dress herself
- be toilet trained
- be able to talk/communicate effectively
- be starting/in preschool
Basically, the earliest I could see having a second child is when Gabby is 3 1/2, because that's when she'll start preschool. At that point, she should be able to meet all the other criteria, too. I'll have to hold up my end, with the driving, at least. I'm not sure if I should bother with a teaching certificate, though, because it will just yield so much more debt, and very little chance of getting a job :-/
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